One of my least favorite things in life is going to the dentist. From the awful suction sound to the uneasy drilling noises, it is a place that immediately makes me uncomfortable upon arrival.
I had an appointment to fix what I felt had turned into a snaggletooth. You would think that going to a hot dentist would motivate me and put me a little more at ease for such an appointment, but it actually does the opposite. After all, there are few things that puts a girl in a more vulnerable state than sitting in that dentist chair. (I think the only thing that is worse is the stir-ups.)
Once they called my name, I could hear the "dun dun dunnnnnn" music play over the loudspeaker. I got seated in the chair, and shortly thereafter comes the bib around the neck. I wanted to tell the dental assistant, Kristi, "no thanks" and that the blue bib didn't really go with my outfit. I mean, I can't let Dr. McHottie see my green sweater clashing with that god-awful bib. But, I kept quiet, mainly because Kristi was quick to shove a q-tip with a numbing additive in my mouth.
Now one thing I will never understand about the whole dentist experience is how both the dental assistants and the dentists try to converse with you while they've got your mouth in all kinds of situations that are not conducive to carrying on a conversation. You'd think they'd cover that in Dentistry 101. Needless to say, Kristi was no exception. What was an attempt to make me feel more comfortable, turned into a detonating bomb. She started with the rigamaroll of how no one likes coming to the dentist and then proceeded to tell me a story. When I heard her say, "So I was at the gynecologist" I knew I was in for an extremely awkward situation. "So I was at the gynecologist and I must have made this bad face, because the doctor looked up at me and said, 'you must hate coming here as much as I hate going to the dentist' " *cricket cricket* Thankfully I had that Q-tip in my mouth, preventing me from spewing out the word vomit I felt coming up.
Next Dr. McHottie came in. Great, not only does he get to see my with this ridiculous blue bib, but I have this thing hanging out of my mouth, which also is making me drool, by the way. Hot. At least I can blame the drool on the q-tip apparatus and not my reaction to seeing him.
Next comes the Novocaine, which after setting in, makes me feel like the right side of my lip is curled up like Elvis, know what I'm sayin'? So to recap, I've got the heinous blue bib, drool, and curled lip at this point. Next starts the drilling and polishing and buffing - his hands holding onto the tools that are all up in my mouth - and this wouldn't be complete, of course, without water and other remnants of who knows what else spraying up on my face as they work. Not good for the complexion or the ego.
After about an hour of being in such a humbling experience as that, my teeth were back to normal. The bad news, my ego was drilled down to the nerve, as Dr. McHottie saw me in such a terrible state. The good news, no more snaggletooth and no cavities.
...I'm sure he totally would've asked for my number had he not been married - just sayin'.
March Madness 2018
8 years ago
