Oh Christmas Tree

I cannot believe Thanksgiving has come and gone and when I wake up tomorrow, it'll be time to turn the page of my calendar to December! Although I'm not a big fan of the weather that's surely to accompany Old Man Winter, I do enjoy the Christmas season.

Christmas, although cliche, is my favorite holiday. I love the cheery music, the twinkling lights that outline the houses in town, and the high spirits of the people around me. I love the holiday baking and finding that perfect gift for someone and anticipating the day you get to see his/her face as it's being opened.

But those things cannot quite compare to that feeling I get when I am home for Thanksgiving. It's our tradition to dress up my parents house in full Christmas attire. As the sounds of Christmas music fill up our house, we excitedly begin. I'm always in charge of the mantle of the fireplace (or as my sister likes to call it, the hearth.) My sister sets up the Nativity, my mom works on her village, and my dad lovingly "supervises." But my favorite thing, although it can be tiresome, is putting up the tree. We don't have a themed tree, unless you count "memories" as the theme. We hang all the ornaments we have collected over the years: for my parents - 35 years of marriage, my sister - 30 years of memories, my brother-in-law - 6 years of officially being in the family, Regan - 16 blissful months of being in our lives, and me and my 26 years of life. These ornaments have successfully captured a lifetime of memories. My favorites are the homemade ones - the pair of mitten shrinky-dinks I made in preschool, the little green wreath with my 1st grade school picture inside, and the clay holly I once made in art class, painted green and adorned with red and pink sequence.

With each box we open, it's like we're unlocking a door to our past and unleashing the childlike tendencies that still exists in us. As I hung the glittery seashell ornament, I reminisced with my family about our trip to Myrtle Beach. With each ornament I pulled out from my Grandparents, I thought about how blessed I have been to have them in my life. And every year as my sister tries to hide the wreath ornament with her 3rd grade picture in it, I always find it and get it on the tree. (She thinks it's a heinous picture, I think it's nothing short of precious.)

As you look at each ornament we have hung on our beautiful tree, you get a glimpse into the life of my family. Each ornament has a meaning and as we open and dive into the tote labeled, 'ornaments', it's as if we're opening up the book of my family's life story....and what a story it is.

And as I write this this evening, I am realizing that this is exactly what, for me, Christmas is all about. I am truly blessed to have such a loving and caring family, and I can lead with their example, and spread that kindness, generosity, and love to those around me.

Painting Prodigy

I saw this on the news this morning as I was getting ready....incredible.

A Natural Progession

A follow-up to my previous posting on going to the dark side...Granted, the color has faded some since that posting, but it is still quite a difference when you do side-by-side comparisons from my hair color starting back in May, to August, to September, and finally to today!

Can we also discuss for a moment the natural progression of my faded tan as well? Looking pretty ghostly white these days! In the wise words of Charlie Brown, good grief!

All I Want For Christmas...

There is nothing better than coming into work in the morning and opening your email to discover something that makes you cry because you are laughing so hard. I received this from one of my underwriters today and I was rolling. Be sure to read the comments.

Positive Spin

It's amazing how after staring at a glowing screen for 10 hours, I get home at the end of the day and somehow can stare at that glowing screen for several more hours. Tonight, as music was accompanying me in my task of organizing my iTunes and getting my iPod ready for my travel-filled weekend, I couldn't help but notice how upbeat I was feeling. My head was bobbing, my hips were swaying from side to side, and yes, I'll even admit there was a hint of pouty-lip-kissing-face going on. Lame? Yes. But perfect, nonetheless, considering the effort that L and I have been putting into keeping a positive outlook on everything in life over the past week. That plus the numerous mixed tapes I have received lately, inspired me to make my a mixed tape of my own:

P
O
S
ATTITUDE
T
I
V
E

1. Get Up Offa That Thing - James Brown
2. Can I Get A - Jay-Z
3. Breathe - Michelle Branch
4. Bad Girls - Donna Summer
5. You Can Call Me Al - Paul Simon
6. The Resolution - Jack's Mannequin
7. Stronger - Britney Spears
8. Blitzkrieg Bop - The Ramones
9. Don't Stop Me Now - Queen
10. The Heart of Life - John Mayer
11. The First Single - The Format
12. September - Earth, Wind, and Fire
13. Praise You - Fatboy Slim
14. Viva La Vida - Coldplay
15. Wavin' Flag - K'Naan
16. Love Train - The O'Jays
17. Have a Little Faith - Michael Franti & Spearhead

A very random mix, which are my favorite type of mixes. There are upbeat tunes, old school jams, inspiring lyrical songs, songs with powerful musicality, and a few of my favs. Can't wait to pop this in tomorrow on my ride into work - a sure fire positive way to start my day.

Giving Thanks At Thanksgiving Rehearsal Dinner

Friday evening marked the 2nd annual Thanksgiving Rehearsal Dinner, a Thanksgiving "practice", if you will, with friends. L and I were so excited to be hosting it again. We decided to up the ante a little this year and expand the guest list and have it on a weekend evening to be sure the night wouldn't be cut short. We started preparing Thursday evening by getting our Christmas decor up and baking the pumpkin cheesecake. Friday the preparation continued with a few last minute decorating details and the big task of getting the turkey ready. The evening was a success with lots of delicious food and fun times had by all.

Here are a few highlights from the evening:

*L's basting - from almost burning me while basting the turkey to almost burning herself by setting the potholder on fire. (crises averted both times)
*Kyle and Rodderick carving, aka, manhandling the turkey
*KC entertaining the crowd with her story-telling abilities
*The duet JW and I spontaneously performed during dinner
*Witnessing Rodderick's mad dish washing skillz (thanks again Roddy, you are amazing!)
*Naomi getting excited to list off her cards after playing Apples to Apples (Important and Hot I believe...describes her to a tee)
*All of the delicious food we were able to partake in

I couldn't help but sit back during one point in the evening and smile as I looked around our crowded little living room. As I watched my friends gathered together, smiling and laughing and talking with each other, I knew exactly what I was thankful for that night. I am so blessed to have such a stellar group of friends in my life.

To all my friends, I say thank you. Thank you for loving me for who I am and for accepting the good, the bad, and the ugly in me. Thank you for always being there for me, supporting me through good times and bad, and forgiving me when I do you wrong. Thank you for enriching my life and providing me with joy and laughter and fun. But mostly, I thank you for just being a part of my life.

Two Thumbs Up For TOMS

Back in August, L had given me a gift certificate to Toms Shoes for my birthday. I had been talking about wanting a pair for several months, so it was a great surprise and awesome gift to receive! Who would've thought it would take me until mid-November to finally decide on which pair to go with? Now in my defense, I had a few pairs in mind but when I went to make the purchase, they had taken the "Summer collection" down and didn't have as many choices as before. So I thought I'd wait it out a bit and see what came in for Fall/Winter. It was a hard decision but I finally decided on a pair. I made my decision based on the versatility of the shoe and also how I thought they would handle normal wear and tear. I wanted a darker-colored pair so I wouldn't have to worry about dirt showing and a versatile-enough pair, so they could be worn with either brown or black, jeans, khakis, or even sweats. So here's what I decided on:



I got them in the mail last Friday and let me tell you, they are amazing! Super comfortable and stylish, in my humble opinion. The size is just right and I've worn them with several different "looks", including the come-on-Iowa-beat-Ohio-State look, to the I'm-wearing-my-not-so-cute-looking-sweats-and-know-I'll-see-my-ex-at-the-store look. If you're in the market for a new pair of kicks, definitely consider getting a pair. Not only will you get a functional, comfortable, and fashionable shoe, but you'll be helping a child in need get a pair too! Doesn't get much better than that! I'm betting I'll have more than just this pair taking up room in my closet.

*Helpful hint: I recommend ordering your normal size. However, if you want to be sure, they do sell a few pairs at TradeHome Shoes at the JC mall so you can try them out there. Also, Google "Toms Coupons", usually they have $5 off or free shipping.*

Ode To the Fluorescent Light

What is it about fluorescent lighting that makes you look just terrible? I'm rarely so much insulted than when I walk into a room with fluorescent lights and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and utter the words, "good god." Every imperfection of your hair, face, and shape seems to catch your attention, like the blinking lights of a cheesy motel vacancy sign.

It's not so bad on your 'off' days, where you leave the house knowing you aren't looking your best. But what really sucks are those days when you think you are looking good and then BAM, the fluorescent light rains on that parade.

Bathrooms, department stores, even hair salons, yes hair salons...the one place you are supposed to look your cutest (at the end at least...not in the tin foil stage or wet dog look stage) ...one peak and ugh....uggo central.

Came up with this elementary-style poem while washing my hands in the bathroom today at work....the ode to the fluorescent light:

Oh fluorescent light
How I despise thee
Every time I see your light
A bad reflection I see

You are a day ruiner
A murderer of dreams
Just when I think I'm looking good
I step into your light and scream

Every blemish is highlighted
The bags under my eyes are apparent
My face is ghostly white
It's almost like it's transparent

Why do you make me look so bad?
I'm never happy to see you
I'd like to replace you with more flattering bulbs
This much I know is true.

A Question of Talent

I have posed this question to several people over the past few days: If you could pick one (or two) talent(s), what would it(they) be? I have received a variety of responses from playing the piano, to singing, to playing tennis, and drawing.

My answers: First on the list - singing. I would love love LOVE to be able to sing and perform in front of live audiences.

Second one - dancing! One of my guilty pleasure reality TV shows is Dancing With the Stars...although this season hasn't been as exciting as the previous seasons, I still find myself captivated by the stories the dancers tell in each of their dances. I would love to get all dressed up, have the exotic make-up put on my face, and to be able to move like the professionals...not to mention the banging body I'd get from the 8 hour a day practices! Seems like a much more fun day than sitting in a cubicle...just saying...Here are a few of my favorite dances over the past two seasons:

Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas - Cha Cha



Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough - Futuristic Paso Doble



Gilles Marini and Cheryl Burke - The Argentine Tango (Gilles? Yes please!)

A Darker Side of Me

Well folks, I did it. After 26 years of being a blond, I decided it was time to go to the dark side.

I started the slow process back in August...slow and steady wins the race, after all. I couldn't go from bright blond to dark in one sitting - that would be way too shocking. So, entered in lowlights for a couple months.

I was very nervous for my appointment I had Friday, not gonna lie. I literally had butterflies in my stomach all morning just thinking about. I was not only going darker, but going to a new stylist at a new salon. I loved my old stylist, don't get me wrong. She did a fantastic job and I've gotten more compliments on my hair, both color and cut, then ever. But, times are tough and getting a hefty bill every 6 weeks needed to stop. So I took a leap of faith and made an appointment with someone who came highly recommended.

So I went in and explained to him how I wanted to get close to what my natural hair color is today. (I used to be blond without the assistance of hair dye, but as I've gotten older, my hair has gotten darker.) I told him how I'd been slowly taking the steps to get darker but was sick of wading my feet and was ready to jump in.

2 hours later and voila - I'm a brunette! So far, I'm liking it and have received high remarks from my friends. It's a lighter shade of brown with a few lighter highlights throughout and I've noticed that in the light, there's a red hue to it. So not only did I take a risk I think paid off, but I walked out with a cheaper bill than I normally have. AND, eventually, once the darker shade holds, I may be able to do less color treatments, being my roots won't be a problem, which means some appointments, I'll have an even less-expensive bill! And that's always a good thing!

I wondered if I would feel any different, going from blond to brunette, but I really don't to be honest. I was thinking it would be really cool if I felt like this entirely different person, where all my inhibitions and fears would be gone and a different side of me would come out, but I still feel like me, which isn't so bad I guess. Maybe that kind of thing just happens in the movies.

I know I really shouldn't be posting this without a pic, but I don't have one yet and I have no batteries for my camera...but as soon as I get a hold of a pic, I'll be sure to post for all to see.

Stay tuned!

Are You There God, It's Me Nic

I have a confession...

For the past 7 years, going to church every week is not something I've been very good about. Let me preface my next statement with this - I know it should not be used as an excuse. But for me, I get this overwhelming sense of loneliness when I go to church...and this stops me, more often than not, in going to church every week.

I can remember the first time I went to church in college. It was my first week there and I was holding back tears as the first few notes of the opening hymn were playing. As I looked around at the congregation, I saw nothing but families. I looked to each side of me yearning for my family to be there.

I thought that because it was my first week of college, it was probably natural to feel that way and it was most likely my first bout of homesickness. But to be perfectly honest, anytime I attend church by myself, that overwhelmingly empty feeling comes over me.

It is really kind of frustrating when I think about it. You would think church would be the one place I would least likely have these kinds of feelings haunt me. Shouldn't I find comfort in attending church and only feel a sense of love as I pray? Am I not focused enough in that time of worship to ignore those pangs of loneliness?

It is hard for me to look around the room and see families seated together while I'm alone because I've always associated church as a family thing. Every Sunday my family attended church, usually followed by a Sunday breakfast/brunch. I guess I took for granted those 18 years I was at home that I was lucky to have my family to attend church with. I definitely don't anymore. I look forward to it - knowing I'm not only going to be attending church, but also knowing I won't be experiencing those awful feelings, and as pathetic as it may sound, holding back tears.

I'm not sure how I can change the way I feel. Should I make an effort to make plans with friends to go to church? Although most of my friends here aren't Catholic, it is an option. Yesterday, as L and I drove past a church, we both made the remark that we should go more often. Instead of us each going alone to our respective churches this morning, we decided to go together. It wasn't a Catholic mass, but it was nice to have a friend sitting next to me, and certainly better than not going at all. (Plus, L went to Easter mass with me at St Francis)

Or do I just need to suck it up and go and stop using the 'lonely' excuse? Probably.

Putting it into perspective, it's only an hour out of my day and I although for that hour I don't feel the best, I always do feel good about it afterward.

Hidden Treasure?

I haven't been having much luck getting my hands on the books I've had on my list lately. I was planning on reading Born To Run over my mini vacation, but it was checked out, so I checked a different one off my list, Resilience. (which was a great read) I also have The Help on my list, but that too was checked out. And then I tried Have a Little Faith, and again, checked out.

So while milling around the library tonight, I decided on The Five Languages of Love. I've never read this book but thought that after 10+ years, I might as well hop on the band wagon and see what all the hype was about.

The Five Languages of Love sits in the Non-Fiction side of the library, tucked away with other books about love and relationships. Could I have possibly stumbled upon the hidden treasure? Was this the pot of gold every single person in America has been searching for? Hardly! I found myself totally entertained and a little appalled with some of the titles of these books:

-How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Forever! In 90 Minutes or Less
-Why Didn't He Call Back?
-How to Marry a Fabulous Man
-Actually , It Is Your Parents' Fault Why Your Romantic Relationship Isn't Working, and How to Fix It

I couldn't help but laugh at the titles of these books and ask myself, Who are the yahoos writing this crap and how are they getting published? What are their credentials? Some credit themselves with being therapists and psychologists, while others deem themselves as "relationship experts." What makes someone a "relationship expert" anyway, because I want to know where to sign up so I can start a load-of-crap book about love and relationships too.

Call me a cynic, but I'm pretty sure the answers to my love life are not hidden away in, How to Marry a Fabulous Man...and maybe I'm crazy, but I don't think you can force someone to love you in a matter of a mere 90 minutes...and, as much as I would like to hand the blame over to someone else for my failed relationships, I'm thinking the last two people I could ever pin it on would be my parents! Who is buying into this stuff?

I will confess, I did look at one in a little more detail - Deal Breakers, because it reminded me of the game L and I play where we ask each other about a feature/characteristic of a guy and ask if that's a deal breaker (and it's also a topic we both blogged about one evening.) My curiosity got the best of me. Basically, Dr. Bethany Marshall gives her take on when to work on a relationship and when to walk away. I like our version of deal breakers better.

Moral of the story, head over to the "Love and Relationships" aisle of your local bookstore for a few laughs....but if I'm still single 10 years from now, maybe I will give How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Forever! In 90 Minutes or Less a try. :)

Appropriate vs Inappropriate

While being entertained by some good people watching on Saturday at a few different establishments, I caught myself labeling some of the things I witnessed as "Appropriate" vs "Inappropriate". Here are a few I came up with:

*Walking in with a Hawkeye sundress, knee high ref socks, and boots: Appropriate. This particular girl tried a trendy risk, that I think was worth taking, especially on a 65 degree day in November.

*Making awkward noises that you usually only hear in the bedroom as a way to express your frustrations during the game: Inappropriate. Use your words.

*Getting the whole crowd involved by cheering "I-O-W-A": Appropriate. Nothing like a good cheer to get the crowd back in the game.

*Taking your belt off and mock-hanging yourself to show your disappointed feelings after the loss: Inappropriate. Extremely offensive and completely unnecessary behavior that should not be tolerated.

*Buying a group of girls a round of drinks and then coming over to introduce yourself: Appropriate. Kudos for being brave enough to approach a table of girls by yourself. I wouldn't be brave enough to walk up to one guy, let alone a group of them, on my own.

*Pounding a few shots to celebrate (I'm assuming a birthday) with friends: Appropriate. (As long as you can handle it) This particular group looked like they were having a blast and I didn't witness anyone falling over or breaking a glass.

*Pounding a shot in front of a group of girls: I'm deeming this one inappropriate, because of the manner it was done in. I don't need you to pound the worst shot your buddy has ever bought you and talk about how awful it was, but that you still took it like a man to prove yourself to me. A simple conversation will suffice.

*Playing a game that has you and your friends in tears from laughing so hard: Appropriate. Having a good time with good friends is always appropriate in my book.

To the Tee

There's just something about the funny screen print tee...

Loops and Pluto:






Threadless:





Cafe Press:

What You Don't Use, You Lose

In order to avoid losing a few vacation days, being I can only carry over 10 days, I decided to work a very short week this week. So, alas, it's my Friday!

First order of business: Dress clothes off, sweats on...check! Combine that with a hearty bowl of chili (and a few Peachie-O's L so kindly surprised me with) and that, my friends, is my "Friday" night. (...why am I single again?!?)

Sunday evening while planning this short week out in my head, I thought, "Oh how great it will be, L will probably have Wednesday off, because she always has Wednesdays off it seems, and we could spend the day in the East Village." Unfortunately, L had today off and works tomorrow, and all my other friends are working as well, so now that I don't have anyone to play with, I had to come up with a plan B....

Plan B: A morning jog (pronounced yog), followed by a few household chores and a few errands, including a pit stop to the library to pick up the next book on my list, Born To Run. I'm hoping for a relaxing afternoon, curled up on the couch with my new book while basking in the sun (from the inside, of course) By no means an adventurous day, but honestly, a day away from my cubicle is enough to get me amped up.

I have a more adventuresome Thursday and Friday to look forward to, as my mom, sister, and Regan will be in town. We try to get a shopping trip in around this time every year - get some Christmas ideas rolling and possibly purchase a gift or two. I know the mall will be visited, and I'm hoping for some extra time to visit a few local spots in Valley Junction, Beaverdale, and the East Village.

Time for the mini vacay to begin!

¡Baila el Chiki-chiki!

When driving home from work each day, my mind often wanders. Tonight, to distract myself from the negative feelings I had towards driving home in the dark at 5:30 P.M., my mind wandered off to Summer 2008 when I vacationed in Greece.

One thing that I'll never forget is the music. I remember feeling a little piece of home every time I heard Madonna or Justin Timberlake. (both of whom they just love over there) I remember the feeling of excitement I felt when I recognized a Top 40 Greek tune. And then there's a certain little ditty that became both an inside joke and somewhat of a guilty pleasure while over there....maybe it was too much sun or the Sambuca, I don't know...but it always got us laughing and made us dance, like in Skiathos, when I danced to this little number with Reenie and the boys while the sun was rising.

A little background - Baila el Chiki-chiki was Spain's 2008 entry to Eurovision, which is comparable to our American Idol. It didn't win...not sure why :)

Dancing With Rose

I finally finished Dancing With Rose today. It's by no means a hard read, I guess just business and laziness as to why it took me so long. But the timing of reading this book couldn't have been more appropriate. I'm not willing to explain why over my blog...it just seems too private of an issue to write about in this type of public forum.

The book is about a woman, who after losing her mother to Alzheimer's, decides to start working at an Alzheimer's nursing home, in an attempt to understand the disease better.

I found her to be so intriguing. The more she worked at the nursing home, the more she was able to accommodate her patients. She didn't just go through the motions and do the daily chores this job required of her. She put thought into it. She studied her patients, their mannerisms, and their needs. She spoke with family members to gain a better understanding of who her patients were before Alzheimer's set in. She found ways to communicate with them and connect with them. She would try to figure out what world they were living in at the time and join them. (This known as validation therapy)

What was most intriguing to me, though, was the outlook she had about Alzheimer's when she stopped working at the nursing home. She used to think, like many people, that Alzheimer's was something to fear, and that death is almost a blessing for an Alzheimer's patient. But after working at the facility, her beliefs were beginning to change. She says of the old beliefs, "I find the remarks disquieting. They deny the person's humanity, as if the person ceased to be entitled to life because he or she had a disease."

She also says, "...but part of me has come to think of Alzheimer's, despite its obvious horrors, as a disease of freedom. It's not just memory that one loses. It is inhibition. It is pretense. The thin layer of civility that forces us healthy people to operate with equanimity even when we are tired or crabby or don't like someone or just want to be left alone-that's gone too. What remains is some unvarnished, unprotected self, maybe the self a person would have been had culture and society, gender and class, manners and mores not overlaid it. The buried self, the unlived self....But there's one thing about the folks of Maplewood, about people with Alzheimer's in general: they are real, even the ones like Frances M. and Marianne, who are seriously deluded. They don't have ulterior motives. They don't manipulate. They don't play games. They just are."

She also contemplates the controversial idea that Alzheimer's is a form of Zen enlightenment. She had spoken to a professor who said, "...Alzheimer's is a detaching disease. It detaches people from their memories, their selves. We can look at that as tragic and awful, or we can change the frame....Consider Zen which is all about clearing your mind, detaching from your thoughts, grounding yourself in the moment. Well, that's Alzheimer's."

Although I admire her unconventional thoughts towards the disease, I'm nowhere near the point where I can think in such a way. Truth be told, I see it as a painful and depressing feat, one that scares me than most things. I think one of the saddest days I could ever experience is the day a family member or friend would not remember who I am. I hope I never have to go through that.