Ode To the Fluorescent Light

What is it about fluorescent lighting that makes you look just terrible? I'm rarely so much insulted than when I walk into a room with fluorescent lights and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and utter the words, "good god." Every imperfection of your hair, face, and shape seems to catch your attention, like the blinking lights of a cheesy motel vacancy sign.

It's not so bad on your 'off' days, where you leave the house knowing you aren't looking your best. But what really sucks are those days when you think you are looking good and then BAM, the fluorescent light rains on that parade.

Bathrooms, department stores, even hair salons, yes hair salons...the one place you are supposed to look your cutest (at the end at least...not in the tin foil stage or wet dog look stage) ...one peak and ugh....uggo central.

Came up with this elementary-style poem while washing my hands in the bathroom today at work....the ode to the fluorescent light:

Oh fluorescent light
How I despise thee
Every time I see your light
A bad reflection I see

You are a day ruiner
A murderer of dreams
Just when I think I'm looking good
I step into your light and scream

Every blemish is highlighted
The bags under my eyes are apparent
My face is ghostly white
It's almost like it's transparent

Why do you make me look so bad?
I'm never happy to see you
I'd like to replace you with more flattering bulbs
This much I know is true.